Submitted by PenguinLvr142, 4/6/2004 7:11:29 PM
Submitted by slww82, 1/7/2003 7:14:15 PM
Submitted by Anonymous, 10/18/2002 12:38:35 PM
Submitted by Girl of the Heart, 9/16/2004 5:54:47 PM
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A Favorite of 2366 Users |
A mother passing by her daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Mom." With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands: Dear Mom: It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I've been finding real passion with Ahmed and he is so nice-even with all his piercings, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion Mom, I'm pregnant and Ahmed said that we will be very happy. He already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Ahmed taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Ahmed can get better; he sure deserves it!! Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grand children. Your daughter, Judith PS: Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk center drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.
- An e-mail
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ID# 22993 |
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Submitted by sash2417, 4/6/2004 6:04:43 PM
Submitted by Bananna, 11/14/2004 12:42:53 AM
Submitted by fhalim, 2/7/2005 7:03:36 PM
Submitted by Bob, 9/25/2000 12:59:26 PM
Submitted by aschrage, 8/8/2003 8:03:10 AM
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A Favorite of 2192 Users |
Annoying Things To Do On An Elevator
1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?" 2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off. 3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves. 4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral. 5) MEOW occasionally. 6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly 7) SAY -DING at each floor. 8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons. 9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button. 10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on." 11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?" 12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone. 13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space." 14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you. 15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more. 16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones. 17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?" 18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!" 19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift. 20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers. 21) SWAT at flies that don't exist. 22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.
- a website
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ID# 9498 |
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Submitted by Anonymous, 6/9/2003 8:08:28 PM
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A Favorite of 2182 Users |
Did you ever fall for someone you know you shouldn't? Try hard to fight your feelings, but you just couldn't? You fall deeper with each passing day, But try to hide it in every possible way. He's only a friend, and nothing else-- That's the lie you keeping telling yourself. You keep on saying he's just a bud, But deep inside, you're falling in love. You get so giddy when you meet his eyes, But keep reminding yourself it isn't right. A simple glance turns into a stare, But you pretned that you don't care. It's "not right" for you two to be. Is that why you hide it so no one can see? But how long will you pretend? Keep lying that he's just a friend? Perhaps your feelings you can never show. Perhaps it's "wrong" for him to know. Your friendship can't be risked over this, So being his girl is an impossible wish...
- Momei Qu
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ID# 8388 |
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